Tired of being who you are? The expert says if your personality can be changed

Have you ever felt like the famous line “I can’t change, this is who I am” is just an excuse? Well, there’s some good news coming straight from the world of science: maybe this story that “cheetahs don’t change locations” isn’t 100% true when it comes to us humans.

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Let’s think a little: are we the same as we were five or ten years ago? What made you laugh, cry, or even upset you, is it still the same? Over time, we are shaped by experiences, knowledge, and yes by our choices.

But the main question here is, can you speed up this process and change your personality traits that might be… well, let’s say, hindering progress?

According to Brent W. Roberts, a personality expert at the University of Illinois, the answer is a resounding “yes.” tells us that:

“Personality traits change with age” and goes further, teasing: “If our personality is always being created, can we change it if we want to?”

Roberts gives that spoiler about his research findings: “We found that seeing a therapist led to a drop in standard deviations of neurosis in half.”

That’s in just four weeks, imagine that! But calm down there! Before you rush off to schedule your first appointment, he makes it clear that you don’t necessarily need a therapist’s help for this.

And what do you do next?

Changing our personality is almost like learning a new recipe. First, we need motivation. Next, it is important to understand what we want to change and, most importantly, why.

As Roberts recalled, “A lot of people say they wish they could be a little less nice—that’s my favourite.” He explains that what these people usually want is to learn how to position themselves in an assertive manner.

Next, we need to practice. very! “You have to give people the opportunity to try new behaviors, implement them, fail, try again and guide them, trying to create their own competencies,” Roberts asserts.

Finally, it is imperative that you have someone to guide you through the process. And get this, you don’t have to be a person. “Nowadays, generative AI is getting more and more sophisticated,” says Roberts. Soon, a program, an app, or even a cute little robot can help you on this journey.